Nobody Wins....

I'm listening to Nobody Wins a War, a song on Raheem DeVaughn's latest album, The Love & War MasterPeace. I like it because it reminds me of something Marvin Gaye would do. Plus, it's reflective of my mood.

I've realized -- for real -- that the end is near.

Mr. Wonderful and I had another discussion about the baby thing, and he told me...in no uncertain terms...that for him, having a child was a non-negotiable. He said it wouldn't be a good look for him to have a child younger than his grandson. And I get it. Really I do. But what does that have to do with me? When I asked him, all he could do is give me that discussion-ending 'what about you' look.

So while we haven't officially called it quits, it's coming for us sooner than later. And the thought of it makes me sad. With all the ins and outs of our relationship, I still love him. And honestly, he's the first guy with whom I could actually see myself taking the procreation plunge. I wish he felt the same way, but he doesn't. And while some of my friends have told me to 'baby trap' him, I don't want to do that. It's not fair.

And this is one war with no winners...especially not me.